Who I Am

Living in Durham can get you far in life. But, Durham can only get you so far. Sure there’s the big business, Research Triangle Park, Duke, and Duke Hospital, but what if your pathway doesn’t incorporate any of those? For me, Durham will not suffice forever.

Growing up, I was the youngest of four and living in a moderate middle class home, that was semi-broke; At least that’s how it was looking back on it. Divorce is a common and tragic act in today’s world. At four, I was too young to understand the true act. My mother and father simply left it as “Daddy and Mommy aren’t going to be spending as much time together anymore. Daddy’s going to be going away for a while,” said in a soft and convincing voice.  Growing up in the divorce didn’t mess me up too much.

Fast forward a couple years to sixth grade. I was invited to my church’s youth group welcome potluck. The potluck was every year to welcome back the old members and happily welcome the new members. Upon entering, they told me to find my seat and that I would be sitting with other members of the youth group. During the meal we were all given slips of paper that bore questions about faith, Christianity, and random topics: A get to know your fellow Christians game. Going around asking all the questions was easy; the hard part was when the next question rose: When did you doubt faith the most? My dad who sat still next to me was first to answer. His answer: The death of his son. Confused out the wazoo I reminded my dad that Adam (my brother and my only brother) was just up in Appalachian for college. Waving the comment away my Father continued. In the 80’s, before my dad had met my mom, he and his wife Kathy had two kids, Stephen and Danielle. When Stephen was four he tragically drowned in a neighbor’s swimming pool when no one was watching. After three days of being on a ventilator, Stephen passed and was buried in Ohio where my dad later left to get away from the past. After hearing the story I sat in silence. To this day when I think of Stephen I sit and contemplate what would’ve happened if he lived.

After seventeen years of living in a messed up world like ours I’ve realized who I have become. I realized who I want to be. Who I am is a person who wants to be there for everyone. I want everyone around me to be happy, even if that means sacrificing my own happiness. I want to be that person that makes your bad day into a good one.

 After the years and years of searching I’ve finally found what I might want to do with my life. I’ve decided that I don’t want to end up like my parents. I don’t want to regret marrying someone. If anything I want to regret not marrying them earlier. I don’t want my kids to be growing up in a confusing home life like I did. I want them to have everything I’ve been privileged to have and more. 

As my kids grow up I hope to travel the world with them, I hope to become a successful closet writer. 

Sure my expected lifestyle will be expensive beyond belief but if I trust in myself, my husband, and the Lord that we will be successful. If it's the expensive lifestyle I want then I will work my ass off to get there. It's my life and I will be successful. 

I want to be able to make a difference in people's lives. Even a little one. I don't want to be just a face in the yearbook that everyone shows their kids. I want people to be say 'Oh! That's Erin Shiflett. She was everyone's friend and she was nice beyond belief.' I refuse to be forgotten. It's a weird concept but I've always wanted to be quoted; I want to say something so great that it'll be remembered for a long time. A quote so great that it affects everyone who reads it. I want to be the change in the world, even if it's little.