Unsincerely yours

Dear Rohan,

I'm shocked at everything that's happened. I am truly sorry for not understanding completely what you're going through. I guess I just don't understand your mind. I thought I did...I just want you to know that you hurt me. You hurt me real bad. Wasn't that one of your greatest fears? You told me when we were having our long talks, that your second greatest fear was hurting me. The first being death. But I guess you threw my emotions out the window when you started flirting with Emma. I'm sorry for having a busy schedule all the time, it just happens when you're trying to maintain grades in an  online class and three other high school classes along with, running a huge program at school, being in marching band, and being the president of my Crew. 

We both knew it was going to be tough. But I thought you were more into it than I was. I thought you'd loved me. Doesn't anything we've talked about mean anything to you? We both talked out what would happen. We worked out our schedules the best we could. I'm sorry for living an hour and a half away. I'm sorry that I couldn't see you. I wanted to, trust me. But, I feel as if I put more into it than you did. I had no more of a car than you did. I just wish you would've made some sort of effort to see me. I really loved you, you know?

I guess what I'm also trying to say is that I don't understand how quickly you moved on. You said you wanted a break because of the distance and everything, and that we would still talk and everything and then try to see each other after band was over. I was fine with that! It would've been fine! But you kinda messed that up. I thought it was truly because you hated the distance. You told me that it would be hard for you to date someone else and that it would be hard to let go of me. But then only three days after having the 'lets take a break' conversation you're with another girl. I just don't understand. How can you say these things and not mean them at all. 

Who do you think you are? You can't just do that. You can't just come into someone's life, say that they mean so much to you and that you believe that they're the one and then dip out with some other girl in a blink of an eye. You broke my heart Rohan Baxter. It's shattered. 

You did make a difference in my life though. You made me happy. I was happy for a long time when I was with you or when I would talk to you. But, now I finally understand that you shouldn't trust everyone that comes into your life. This situation has happened to me twice now. And it's thanks to you and the other guy that I have troubles in relationships. I have trust issues. I can't describe it. But you are a sad boy. 

I know you wanted to work camp staff and everything, and I don't care if you do, but just know that I will not give you the time of day. You hurt me beyond believe. I blocked you on Facebook and erased your number. I hope you have a fantastic life and I hope you're happy with your choices. 

Unsincerely Yours,

Ash

Crazy

12 messages. 12 messages from Sara Brown. All sent within 15 minutes. I thought ignoring her would make everything go away, but damn was I wrong. Sara isn't ugly, it's just that she is a future patient at the local insane asylum. She is the crazy girl at the beginning of horror movies that end up murdering everyone that comes close to me.

At school Sara shares 3 of 4 classes with me. With the last name of Bowen, we always end up sitting next to each other when we get seated alphabetically. When I'm not in class I try my hardest to be away from her. I'm always first out the door, but no matter what she's always right there.

After making the smart move of ignoring the messages, I logged off. I pushed myself away from the desk and retreated to me bed and texted Daniel.

Grey: Yo, 12 messages. SOS
Daniel: sounds like someone want the D
Grey: Seriously this isnt funny anymore. It never was!
Daniel: bro calm down. damn. she cant hurt you, shes harmless!
Grey: Easy for you! She's not obsessed with you!! She's literally everywhere
Daniel: just tell her to go away. she cant be that crazy. 

"UGH I just want this girl gone!" I threw my phone on my desk and laid back down, deciding that a nap was more necessary right now than calculus.

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I awoke in the city park with a girl next to me. She had dark Auburn hair. She was gorgeous from behind I could only imagine what she looked like from the front. She turned and it was Jessica Sanchez, the most beautiful creature I've ever seen on this planet. She smiled with her eyes as she grabbed my hand. Her smile radiated giving light to the life around us. As she giggled I couldn't help but lean in to kiss her. She saw my intention and thankfully leaned in also. Our lips formed around each other as I kissed her. Pulling away to look in her eyes, her hair changed from auburn to dirty blonde. I pulled back and it was Sara.

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Screaming awake, I jolted awake and sat up in my bed. The bright alarm clock blared the numbers 2:09 am. 'I really have to fix this now. It's been going on too long' I thought to myself. 

The next morning I walked into first period Calculus and took my seat. I waited for Sara to walk in. Unfortunately it didn't take long. She was quickly behind me and took the seat behind me. I turned around in my seat.
"Hey Sara can I talk to you?"
"H..eh..Hey Grey! What's u..up?" She stuttered. Obviously nervous.
"Look Sara, you need to stop messaging me. You are obsessed. It's not cool and truth be told you're creeping me out!" As I spoke her eyes got lower and lower. She blinked a couple times, and ran out the room with two girls following her.
"God Gray insensitive much!?!?" Lisa Ammons yelled at me.

Well FUCK 

The Dirty D

Fifteen years ago before today, the nation fell to the Mutants. For eighty years engineering and technology stalled in our world. Our government struggled to strive. Cars, technology, everything was the same in the year 2099 as it was in 2014. Our government wanted to create a new life form. So we stole some to study and model after. With the danger of hording alien species the government stuck the mutants in a place no one would ever find them: Duke Chapel. No one except for government officials knew about this experiment. The government received multiple warnings from the alien land demanding their 'people' back. Little did we know that the aliens that we captured were leaders on their planet. After denying the possession of the species, the mothership attacked. The next morning the sun never rose. Instead The Mothership covered the sun leaving a dark red tinted light. As soon as the Muts landed they shot innocent people trying to find the government officials who stole their kind. The government leaders ran as soon as the Muts landed. For years they've been hidden. Few have been found and killed. Today everyone suffers from their idiotic move. Everyday people loose their lives because the government officials from before refuse to come out of hiding.

When the Muts landed my family ran for safety. Since I was only two, I remember none of the incident. All I know is what Jennine and Michael told me. 

While on the run, my parents couldn't handle carrying me around so they left me with Michael and Jennine. Those strangers became my Mama J and Popa Mike. A couple winters ago, a really bad snow storm hit. With the mothership still blocking the sun, there was nothing to warm us up other than blankets. That Winter, we hid in an antique rug and blanket store on the old 15-501. Before going to bed one night, the temperature was reading below -15. That night, Mama and Popa wrapped me in extra blankets and jackets they had found. They kissed me goodnight like they did every night and went to their section of the store to sleep. The next morning, they didn't wake me up. Curious, I got up to find them. As I approached their make shift room, Mama and Popa laid cuddled in each other's arms sound asleep, wrapped in blankets. I walked up to Mama and shook her shoulder. Getting closer, I realized the blue tint in their faces and exposed skin. Panicked I had tried to wake them up and had to come to the hard realization that they were dead. 

At 17, I used the survival skills that Mama and Popa used while we traveled together and the skills I've picked up from watching other people. I've learned to stay by myself. Less people to feed, less people to care for. I stayed in a small abandoned condo. It use to be this place called Cosmic Cantina. Telling from the storytelling wooden picnic tables that I now used to block the door and use as a bed, people came here a lot. There's a huge paneled window in the front which now has stained, faded sheets draped over so no one can peek in. I barracaded the door with a long wooden staff that I found in the back kitchen. It makes it easy for me to get out but hard for someone to get in. 

I stood by my makeshift bed in the front corner by the window to peek at the outside world. With the familiar red tint in the world, my eyes adjusted years ago. I looked outside by the end of the corner of 9th and Main toward the old BP gas station. The station abandoned, and littered with trash. Papers, old cars, food containers, drink bottles, even blankets that people laid down to sleep in the streets and never got to wake the next morning. I was just about to turn back when I saw three kids running. An older guy, a toddler boy and a pre-teen looking girl. All clothed in dirty rags, styled by their sheer blonde hair. 

The pack ran closer and closer to my hide out. I'm not really sure why they were running. There aren't any Mut patrols on this side of town. The kids ran to the entrance of the old Bruggers and caught their breaths. I looked back to where they ran from and saw what they were running from. Mut Hounds. Ruthless creatures. They were metallic black with sharp talons as claws and razor sharp teeth in a pertruding muzzle. They ran fast and were smart creatures. One wrong move and you're dead. 

The Hounds lifted their noses into the air and sniffed around. Looking like they found the scent they were looking for they advanced toward Bruggers. The oldest guy poked his head around the corner and saw the Hounds advancing. He grabbed the small kid and got his weapon ready. The girl got a gun ready with her pack and followed the boy. They started running toward my hide out and everything would've been fine if the girl hadn't ran into a tin trashcan. It clashed to the street creating absolute beautiful silence. Everyone froze and the Hounds snarled, running towards the girl. The kids tried to run back to the parking lot behind Bruggers but a Hound came from that direction and another one came from the front. They were surrounded and hopeless. 

The girl kept her gun trained on the Hound in front of her while the older boy held his gun in the same position while the little boy clinged to the older boys pants with a hand clutching the older boys pants with his other thumb in his mouth. As the Hounds moved in slowly, I watched helplessly from the safety of my shelter. I've seen plenty of people murdered by the Hounds and Muts but for some reason I couldn't help but help them. 

I turned quickly from my window and grabbed my ammo bag by the door, packed two hand guns and my Bow. I kicked the pole from under the door and threw open my last sense of security. I sprinted down the steep creaky steps. At the landing I grabbed an arrow and set it on my Bow. I used my back to push open the outside door and turned toward the two Hounds still moving inward to the group of kids. My feet pounded on the pavement running toward the Hounds. The two older kids saw me and their jaws dropped. I jumped letting go of my first arrow. The arrow cut through the air and landed in the Hound farthest from me in the eye. With the first Hound down the second one lunged at the girl. The girl threw her arms up and flung the Hound off her. Regaining her balance she ran, with the two boys following quickly behind. I followed up in the rear. The Hound on my heels, I had one shot and I couldn't mess it up. I pulled the arrow back as I ran, I turned abruptly and let go. I shut my eyes and leapt to the side. Landing hard on the street I groaned and opened my eyes. I looked back to the Hound that lay heaped in the street. The arrow stuck deep in it's skull. My heart and my head pounded as I stood up. 

The three kids walked slowly to me, but stopped 10 yards from me. Their eyes were wide and they looked afraid to talk to me. The oldest boy was first to speak.
"You're...you're..." He stuttered
"Am I? What a survivor? Yeah? I'm Ashley. Im--"
"You're the governor's missing daughter..."

"What I've Always Wanted To Say..."

As the bell shrieked releasing the swarm of kids onto the hall I slowly made my way to my locker. Through the lone walk I contemplated what was going to happen. Toby ended our conversation last night on: 'I have something to tell you at school tomorrow...' It couldn't be good. I thought Toby and I were fine; We'd been dating for a couple of months and everything had gone surprisingly well.

Finally stopping my wandering feet, I stood in front of my locker and dialed my combination. 31...Maybe it's a surprise of sorts...5...I'm sure everything is fine....15...right?

My locker popped open as I stared blatantly inside. Grabbing the necessary books for homework, I placed them into my tattered backpack. Slugging it on my shoulder, I closed my locker door.

Toby stood behind my locker door inches away from my face. I let out a shrill shriek, dropped my backpack and jumped back. Taking a better look at Toby I realized just how off he was. Toby stood awkward and uncomfortably close to the lockers. His eyes bloodshot from the sleep that had been stolen from him. He seemed jittery and exhausted, something was aloof that he wasn't telling me.

"Toby? What's wrong you look terrible..." Toby's eyes flicked like he was searching for something. I reached my hand up and touched his arm.

"Toby..." I pleaded. My eyes burned from tears. Something was wrong. "What did you want to tell me Toby?" Again silence and my concern grew.

Toby grabbed both my arms and stared into my eyes with cold wide stones. "What I've always wanted to say was..." He was cut off by a deafening popping sound.

Someone brought a gun to school.

Who I Am

Living in Durham can get you far in life. But, Durham can only get you so far. Sure there’s the big business, Research Triangle Park, Duke, and Duke Hospital, but what if your pathway doesn’t incorporate any of those? For me, Durham will not suffice forever.

Growing up, I was the youngest of four and living in a moderate middle class home, that was semi-broke; At least that’s how it was looking back on it. Divorce is a common and tragic act in today’s world. At four, I was too young to understand the true act. My mother and father simply left it as “Daddy and Mommy aren’t going to be spending as much time together anymore. Daddy’s going to be going away for a while,” said in a soft and convincing voice.  Growing up in the divorce didn’t mess me up too much.

Fast forward a couple years to sixth grade. I was invited to my church’s youth group welcome potluck. The potluck was every year to welcome back the old members and happily welcome the new members. Upon entering, they told me to find my seat and that I would be sitting with other members of the youth group. During the meal we were all given slips of paper that bore questions about faith, Christianity, and random topics: A get to know your fellow Christians game. Going around asking all the questions was easy; the hard part was when the next question rose: When did you doubt faith the most? My dad who sat still next to me was first to answer. His answer: The death of his son. Confused out the wazoo I reminded my dad that Adam (my brother and my only brother) was just up in Appalachian for college. Waving the comment away my Father continued. In the 80’s, before my dad had met my mom, he and his wife Kathy had two kids, Stephen and Danielle. When Stephen was four he tragically drowned in a neighbor’s swimming pool when no one was watching. After three days of being on a ventilator, Stephen passed and was buried in Ohio where my dad later left to get away from the past. After hearing the story I sat in silence. To this day when I think of Stephen I sit and contemplate what would’ve happened if he lived.

After seventeen years of living in a messed up world like ours I’ve realized who I have become. I realized who I want to be. Who I am is a person who wants to be there for everyone. I want everyone around me to be happy, even if that means sacrificing my own happiness. I want to be that person that makes your bad day into a good one.

 After the years and years of searching I’ve finally found what I might want to do with my life. I’ve decided that I don’t want to end up like my parents. I don’t want to regret marrying someone. If anything I want to regret not marrying them earlier. I don’t want my kids to be growing up in a confusing home life like I did. I want them to have everything I’ve been privileged to have and more. 

As my kids grow up I hope to travel the world with them, I hope to become a successful closet writer. 

Sure my expected lifestyle will be expensive beyond belief but if I trust in myself, my husband, and the Lord that we will be successful. If it's the expensive lifestyle I want then I will work my ass off to get there. It's my life and I will be successful. 

I want to be able to make a difference in people's lives. Even a little one. I don't want to be just a face in the yearbook that everyone shows their kids. I want people to be say 'Oh! That's Erin Shiflett. She was everyone's friend and she was nice beyond belief.' I refuse to be forgotten. It's a weird concept but I've always wanted to be quoted; I want to say something so great that it'll be remembered for a long time. A quote so great that it affects everyone who reads it. I want to be the change in the world, even if it's little.